I’m assuming that out of the the 6 chickens, there is at least one rooster, and that the cornflakes are infinite since no specific amount was provided. I will create a cage for the chickens using the cardboard from the cornflake boxes, and cornflakes will be spread around the cage for the chickens to eat. Eventually, the chickens will start laying some eggs, and I can rip up some more cornflake boxes for them to use as a nest. At first, I will allow the majority of these eggs to hatch into chicks and save a few for gourmet meals for when I get sick of eating cornflakes every day.
After a couple of months/years of this, I will have a suitable enough chicken farm that I can start harvesting a lot more of the eggs, and even eat a chicken every now and then. Once this happens, I will get some more cardboard from a cornflakes box and rip it into a triangle shape, and I will kill a chicken and use its blood to write a message on some more cornflake box cardboard, using my makeshift pen. On this piece of cardboard I will advertise that I have fresh eggs for trade which were grown by the loving care of a man stranded on an island with an infinite amount of cornflakes, and an infinite amount of heart. There I will wrap my message in the skin of a chicken to keep it dry, and throw it into the ocean. I will do this multiple times so that I can assure that my message will be received.
So eventually somebody gets my message, and they think “oh man, I could really go for some eggs right now”. So they rent a boat and come to my island (I forgot to mention that in this time I constructed a rather large sing out of cornflake boxes and chicken blood, and I also sent out some maps) where the person has a taste of one of my delicious eggs, and cannot fathom ever eating an egg coming from another chicken in his entire life that tasted as wonderful as these, so he offers me some money to take home a dozen of my “god eggs”. I refuse his cash offer, and instead ask him to bring me some gardening tools, and to spread the word of my perfect egg farm. He agrees.
My egg island becomes the talk of the town. People are raging to get a taste of these eggs, and I get customers almost daily. I do not take cash, for I will not need it on my island, but I instead barter for the eggs. I ask for things like seeds, tools, building materials. I want to start living it up on my island. One day, a strapping young lad approaches me, and begs to learn my secret. “How could somebody make such wonderful eggs?” he asks. I offer him a position at my side as an apprentice, for in the years that I have spent putting together my island egg masterpiece, I have gotten rather lonely, almost insanely so, with the chickens as my only companions. He accepts.
Now that I have an employee working for me, things begin to go a lot smoother. I am selling eggs by the hundreds, and have started work on building myself a proper house to replace the cardboard roof I have been living under for all these years. Building even a simple cabin proves to be an extremely difficult task, but with weeks of hard work, me and my apprentice (who will from now on be referred to as AJ) construct a fine little shelter, complete with different rooms, and a nice little fireplace to keep us warm at night.
My life is a breeze now. My egg farm is now providing over 90% of the eggs to the surrounding townsfolk, and I am one of the most renowned people around. I trained AJ well enough that he has taken over most of the business because I am starting to get a little bit old, though I will still be running things behind the scenes. I decide that it is time for me to obtain a wife.
Most of the townsfolk seem uninteresting to me, until one day when a woman I have never seen before approaches AJ. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. I knew that I had to get on that! I approached AJ and tell him to go rake the leaves or something, I don’t even care that there are no trees; I just want to get rid of this little cock-block. I introduce myself to the lady, and tell her that these are the best eggs she will ever taste, and offer her to dine with me. She accepts, and I tell her to return not a moment after sunset.
I spend the rest of the day preparing the greatest meal I have ever made; A boiled chicken with a fried egg on top of it, and a side of cornflakes in chicken milk. Ok fine, so I haven’t become the best chef in my time here, but by God I’ve become a farmer, I tell AJ to try some of my meal and he dies. SHIT what the fuck do I do now? That chick I want to bang will be here any moment! Quick as lightning, I go outside and find the dude I hired to hold up my sign that I made, and tell him to come inside for a second. He hasn’t moved at all in the three years that he has been my slave, so he is very excited as to what I have in store for him. Little did the poor fella know.
As he comes into my house, I push him into the fireplace. His shrieks are almost deafening, but I endure as he slowly dies and begins to bake, I remove his clothes and rotate him every half hour or so, blasting him with the bodily fluids of AJ, who is starting to decompose, until he is a fine golden brown in color. My mouth waters just looking at him. I realize that I am running out of time, and quickly carve up the meat and serve it with a side of cornflakes. It looks delicious.
I hear a knock at the door. It’s her! “Come in, there’s no lock” I say as she opens the door, slowly revealing her beauty. She complements the homeliness of my place, and I offer her a seat and a glass of “Wine” (AJ). She says that it is one of the more unique wines that she has tasted, but she likes it anyways. Off to a good start it seems, hopefully she thinks the same about that retard sign guy.
We chat for a while, I learn her name is Alexis and that she travels the world looking for good tasking eggs. I tell her that’s a fucking retarded job and she’s all like “haha just kidding dumbass, I’m a librarian” That’s a pretty shitty job too, but whatever, I haven’t had this much contact with another person besides AJ in years, so I nod along and pretend like I give a shit until I finally decide it’s time to eat.
So we’re sitting at the table and I’m all “Dinner is served bitch!” as I bring her the shredded remains of that retard sign guy and the cornflakes. “What the shit is this?” she asks. “Cornflakes? I thought you were famous or some shit, why the fuck are you eating cornflakes?” I smack her and tell her to eat what I put on the table, the undeserving bitch. She eats some of that retard and she’s all “Wow this is actually pretty good, what is it?” and I tell her it’s lamb or something, I don’t really give a shit anymore, I just want to rail this bitch all night.
We finish eating and she’s like “Well thanks for the meal, I’m leaving.” NOT ON MY WATCH BITCH. Quick as lightning, I beat the shit out of her with that retard’s femur or something, I don’t give a fuck what bone it actually is but it was pretty long and sturdy so I guess it’s a femur or something. She’s unconscious and bleeding so I wrap her head in a chicken skin bandage I made, and tie her to my bed using AJ’s skin.
She wakes up about an hour later, and she’s all screaming and shit like “WHAT THE FUCK UNTIE MY SHIT I DON’T WANT TO DIE NO!!” and being an annoying little bitch like that, crying and shit, staining my sweet-ass chicken skin bed sheets. So I march up into this fucking room and kick her right in the puss and she starts crying and bleeding and crying harder. I fuck the shit out of her right there, using the blood as lubrication. This shit goes on for like 18 hours until I finally get tired and hove a sock in her mouth so that I can have some peace and quiet while I get some rest.
When I wake up, she’s dead, probably from all the blood loss. I fuck her for a couple more hours until her shit gets too dry for even me, so I skin her and chuck her into the ocean…anyway, that’s how I would survive.
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