Three Wolf Shirt

I have heard the legend of the mighty 3 wolves shirt and much desired one for myself, but alas, the funds have not been available, having been heavily invested in huffable products. Yet I continued to dream of one day proudly sporting a 3 wolves shirt, slashed and beaded in the way of my people, with a pair of zebra stripe leggings,and dirty white fringed boots, standing majestically astride an icy mountain stream in the moonlight.

Then came the greatest day of my life. My friend, who is now my best friend, gave me this shirt as a birthday gift. This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my house to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called meth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.